(repost from my private blog, written March 2007)
A year ago, I felt like flying. Flying meant leaving the nest where I was well-fed and cared for, but more so it meant reaching greater heights and being able to experience new things. For that very reason, I wanted to fly.
I made that attempt…I tried. I almost jumped off the cliff, but I didn’t. I guess that time, I wasn’t ready yet. Something was holding me back and somehow at that point, I strongly felt like holding on. Something was telling me that I still had a lot of things to learn first before I would be able to finally spread out my wings and soar. Maybe it was the fear of the unknown and the fact that I didn’t think I’d be able to make it if I took the big leap.
I have never been a risk taker in my life. I always tried to play it safe. I was never used to taking big steps if I didn’t know what lies ahead of me. And since some of the forces have suddenly grabbed hold of my wings tightly, it became much clearer to me then that it wasn’t my time yet.
And so I stayed on while others slowly developed their wings and ventured off. I saw them fearlessly brave the unknown, and I felt proud knowing that they finally made it. Somewhere deep inside I knew that one day soon I’ll be reaching for the skies, too.
Now the time has come for me to try venturing out into the vast open skies as well. There is still that fear inside of me that I might be doing the wrong thing, but now I have a greater fear of remaining at a standstill and not being able to know what I am capable of. I know it’s not going to be easy. As a matter of fact, nothing is. But I really have to do this now, not for anyone else, but for myself. So now, it's time to say goodbye because finally, my time has come to fly.
"There's just nothing you can't do,
when you reach that part of you,
that let's you take another chance to fly.
Time is going by, I see the signs of goodbye,
Right before my eyes, I see the signs, that in my life.
It's time to fly. It's time to fly." – Annette Warner