Spring Forward

I have been doing some spring cleaning. 

As winter transitions to spring, so does my life.  Collections change at the start of the new season, and we set aside everything that is from the past.  I see ‘Le printemps’ gleaming as I pass by a retail window. Gray makes way for color.  Signs of winter fading.  Past may be from a few days ago, but nevertheless, it doesn’t belong here. 

My room is starting to have more space.  Throwing bottles that remind me of nights I spent seeking absolution.  Pillow sheets have been washed to remove invisible stains of tears absorbed.  I feel much lighter. 

The sun is peeking through my window. It promises to stay longer as long as I move forward. I give in.

My clock jumps an hour early.

Wake up and step outside, brave one, your days will be prettier from now on. 

In a cafe that creates good vibes, music, art, and novelty, I escape in search of equanimity.  My mind can’t contain all it has taken in.   

I now live in a strange place where the east meets west.  The fusion seems vaguely familiar to home yet it is totally different.  The bars and sports pubs that stay open ‘til late, the lingering smell of Korean barbeque, the sound of karaoke, the sudden whiff of hookah or probably ganjah when the wind blows, the thriving hiphop scene characterized by the headphones, hoodies, skateboards, pimped rides and pumped up kicks, the artfully plastered walls, the colorful graffiti, the hundreds of smiles that try to welcome you to a place which is not entirely their own- this is my home now.     

I walk these streets every day and take in as much of it as I can.  Los Angeles leaves you dazed and confused.  Hollywood might be to blame.  You meet real people but get to meet fake ones, too.  The latter just makes your eyes roll, but the former makes you feel a deep connection to this place like palm trees to SoCal soil. 

Over cocktails and beers, I've met different people to whom I've exchanged conversations with.  Each one has an interesting story.  Some tell it through their eyes; some through their strategically- placed tattoos. 

Most would talk about where they're from and what they're doing here.  I guess everyone has a love-hate relationship with this often misunderstood city.  Like me, their real love is somewhere else but there is just this mysterious gravitation pulling us back.

We resolve to stay another day and try to learn more of the many facets of LA.  The city is fun, vibrant and alive, but it can be too much. It has the nasty habit of biting you in the ass. 

Emotions can run high on both directions.  Fun, drunken nights will turn into a morning of hangover and loneliness.  Bright, sunny mornings can turn into a cold night in bed filled with emptiness. There will be those that will abandon you and those that got your back.  Such is the story of this city where bright lights, fake tans, plastic smiles, and excessive drama are the flourishing industry.  You have to be careful on who you trust.  You have to be cautious of giving your heart away.    

With reckless haste, I have allowed this city to capture my heart, and because of that, it has taken me on such an emotional roller coaster ride.  I’ve seen so much, and I felt so much, but I have only scratched the surface.    

It excites and scares me to know what this big city has yet to offer.  The question is not whether I can handle it but rather if it is worth it.  Despite the heartaches and the occasional mind fuck, I still wouldn’t trade a single day that I’ve been in LA for the world.

My mind is a bit clear now. I just needed to reflect and write.

In this café where they played Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros, I know- at least for now, no matter what, this is home.

Oh Mon Dieu.

Parlez vous gossip?  If so, I think you'd understand how to describe love the French way. 

Napoleons. Eclairs. Manet.

Oh how everything becomes more romantic in the city of love.

Current obsession: Gossip Girl season 4 as S&B plus Chuck add sizzle to Paris.

Latest download:  Ces bottes sont faites pour marcher

Bisou Bisou.

Delusion Angel

Poem from one of my favorite romance movies of all time "Before Sunrise"

by David Jewell

Daydream delusion,
limousine eyelash,
oh, baby with your pretty face,
drop a tear in my wineglass,
look at those big eyes,
see what you mean to me,
sweet cakes and milkshakes,
I am a delusioned angel,
I am a fantasy parade,
I want you to know what I think,
dont want you to guess anymore,
you have no idea where I came from,
we have no idea where we're going,
launched in life,
like branches in the river,
flowing downstream,
caught in the current,
I'll carry you, you'll carry me,
that's how it could be,
don't you know me?
don't you know me by now?

Emerging from the deep

I long for the breath of fresh air when the sun's up and everything is alive.

Oxygen can only last for so long when submerged in water.

Hands that have worked tirelessly are still bound to wrinkle.

I was not built with fins, nor was I meant to hold Poseidon's trident.

Time causes you to swim further away. Where there used to be a diver's paradise, there is now an abyss.

This is what it's like to sink deeper. Treading in murky waters. Losing sight of the light. Losing sight of the purpose.

Herein lies nothing but vulnerability. Fear of the unknown and the discomfort of the prevalent nothingness.

Why go any further?

I do not long to get my hands on the dead pirate's chest. I could die trying to get a hold of it, or even worst, die for having it.

Ambition consumes people. Greed eats them alive.

When being underwater ceases to open your eyes to the amazing world beneath, it is finally time to trade the fins for feet.

Breathe easy. Get your feet back on solid ground.
 
Life on the surface is always better than discovering the scum on the bottom of the ocean.

Because I do... love staying in. :)

One thing I love about holidays is sleeping in and staying in especially when the June rain finally arrives. 

Here's a perfect feel-good stay-in-my-room music.  Pearl and the puppets just perks me up! :) 

   

Paris nights/ New York mornings

I instantly fell in love with Corinne Bailey Rae when I heard her voice back in 2006.  Heck, I loved her so much I even got my dad hooked on her music!  My dad and I both love jazz, and among the contemporary jazz artists, we both agree that she is one of the best.  Corinne Bailey Rae has just the right hint of soul and spice that can make you feel good about the day and the long drives!  

Heartbreak and loss led to her long hiatus in creating beautiful music, but after much pain and healing, she is back with her sophomore album and I am so happy that her music is so much better than ever! 

Paris nights/ New York mornings is one of my favorite songs in her new album, "The Sea" .  It's catchy, uplifting and totally refreshing.  I absolutely love her!!!

 (And don't even get me started on her gorgeous dress, hair and glowing aura!)

Reading rainbow

In those pages the words flew.

It went along with me on my escape to the brown river and accompanied me on the way back. There it stayed in the depth of my open heart where it found a new home.

It sharpened ideals and erased ordinary. It is good, but dangerous. Placed in the wrong hands, it could be poison. What was meant to set you free can make you choke. What was meant to comfort you can hurt.

Words have the power but only when it is triggered by belief. It could either make or break. It could encourage or disillusion.

As you grow older, doubting becomes a shield and belief becomes a vulnerability.

What choice do I have? I came to realize for awhile now that when you've chewed on the words for so long there is very little room for even a shadow of doubt.

There lies the danger.

I envy the young for they are fresh and spirited souls willing to believe and understand. They understand only the benefits, but never the perils.

For that, they hold the power- the kind which the lost and jaded soul should seek to attain again.

I heart Garance Dore and Elle cover

I am a huge fan of Garance Dore and her work as an illustrator and fashion photographer.  I get a lot of inspiration from the way she sees things:  beautiful. fabulous. magnifique!  :)

And thanks to her, Elle UK collectors edition cover is just that. 

I'm quite sure this will be one, if not the most favorite portrait and magazine cover of Demi Moore.  It exudes such character and elegance of not only the model but the publisher and the illustrator as well.  :)

Kudos to Elle UK, Garance Dore and Demi Moore for such a remarkable collaboration!

   

Good morning, Saturday sunshine

The alarm of the cellphone cries as Saturday morning arrives.  A snooze button was untouched, but a stop button bears my fingerprints. The cool aircon breeze caught my exposed skin so I tuck myself back in the pink comforter.  I roll towards the side with my gold satin night gown embracing me as it danced gracefully with the contour of my body. A plush purple pillow is retrieved in the waltz and squished with great desire.

With one eye open, I take a quick peek of the beautiful sun, give out a radiant smile, and hide myself completely under the covers.

Good morning, sunshine. 

I am in such a good mood today, but I'm sorry, I simply won't get up and play. :)